I’ve been observing couples and how they interact with each other. I don’t know, I crave that so much but at the same time I’m happy I don’t have someone to answer too.
Most of my friends are in those stages of being with someone, getting pregnant, and you know doing what one in life should and I want that badly. I feel like I’m stuck and I have no idea what the fuck I should be doing.
I was thinking about just getting pregnant so the world can know that i belong to someone. That another person actually wants me and it hurts me so much to think that I won’t end up with anyone. I’m so obsessed with this idea that I need to be with someone to feel
Complete. I’m lost and then I’m not because I know myself too well and I know I won’t want the responsibility of taking care of another person. I can barely take care Of myself, why would I want to worry about someone else?
Thing is I don’t know how to be intimate with someone. I have no experience and when I did, it was so limited because he was 1000+ miles away so that’s no experience at all. I don’t know what it’s like to have someone unexpectedly touch me. I know that when I do open up to someone imma be so scared of their touch, to which I sadly crave so much. I just don’t know what to think anymore.
I just feel like if I keep thinking about, I’ll make myself insane. I know better Than that. But it’s what I feel and at the moment it makes me sad to think that I don’t have anyone I connect too. I miss that. Just being able to talk to someone like that. With friends, it’s different. But with someone I connect with on an imitate level, that’s another thing altogether. I should stop while I’m ahead.
So yeah, I wonder what’s so fucked up about myself that I can’t find someone to love me. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. It sucks. I’m not a bad person I just don’t like to Deal with bullshit. And that’s my problem I guess. Ehh
Meryl receiving her Honorary Degree. She’s so adorable. 😍😘❤️ (at Indiana University Auditorium)
Front and center for Meryl Streep. Freshman year to senior has come full circle. (at Indiana University Auditorium)
Trailer: ‘Gone Girl' - Oct. 3
Directed by David Fincher, starring Ben Affleck, Rosamund Pike, Tyler Perry, Neil Patrick Harris, Missi Pyle, Patrick Fugit, Casey Wilson and Emily Ratajkowski.
Fincher seems to have a style of trailer that is just as signature as his green-tinted shooting. The song seems odd at first, but plays perfect counterpoint to the rising tension of the second half of the spot. Affleck seems to be doing a lot here as well, which could go either way, but for now is promising. I’m not entirely on board, as Fincher has always been good at trailers, but optimistic.